I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
