She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
