Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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