MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
