Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
