Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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