I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
