she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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