my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
