All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
