Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
