Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
