i think my tv is drunk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
