Sry I called you an 8
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You are the jesus of drinking
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
