Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
