That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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