sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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