My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
