Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize