But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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