Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
