i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
