that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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