so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
