remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
