I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
