Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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