Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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