wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
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dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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