U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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