I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
