hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
