she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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