And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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