the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
