she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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