so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
