Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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