I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize