Pappa wants mamma naked
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
