i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just pynch a tree in the face
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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