for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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