Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
