I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize