I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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