Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
