There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
