legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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