don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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