hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
