and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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