Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
