those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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