There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.