Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
