Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
