are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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