i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
