It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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