This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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