My room smells like vodka and shame
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
