that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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