lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
