his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.